下雨了，下课了。
终于，凑齐了时间，我们四个终于可以一起吃顿饭了。
自己从来不是会和同学出去玩的人，甚至通勤的目的就是为了去下一个学习、学车、写文书的地点。
我们谈天谈地，说东说西，浅显地欢笑，发自内心地笑。我所理解的热爱生活就是这样。
电影，没有看懂。寄希望于他们，也没有看懂。一笑而过。
下雨了，下大了。抚着微风，贴着滴水，别是惬意。
雨小了，站在路边，路边的高楼大厦却没有眼前的灰暗迷人。
我们骑着车，迎着风，穿过无光的函洞。后方来车的照亮，别是一般风情。
路上，雨大了，却更安静了，只剩下仍沉浸在欢乐中的自我。
停下车，步行穿过日日行走的道路，两边的路灯、霓虹灯闪耀。
回家，心被清风和雨水洗刷的澄澈，纯净。
申请季结束了，彻底结束了，终于终于可以松一口气了。
短短的两个月，却充满着压力、痛苦与崩溃边缘的徘徊。也算是成人之际，社会现实给我上的一课吧。我认识到了真正的冷暖，好坏与纠葛。这远是超乎我所想象的。
很庆幸，总算有了好结果，春光明媚。杜克大学是我的最终选择，也是我最平静的选择。难忘的恰不是这次抉择，而是第一次给予我信心与肯定的那个早晨。
准时起床，洗漱完毕，穿好衣服，双手合十，像极了一个虔诚的信徒，却不知道信的是什么。或许是自己，又是家人。打开伯克利的portal，平静地登陆，Congratulations!赫然写在屏幕的中间，我怔住了。右手食指颤抖着滑了几下鼠标滚轮。确定了，是真的，我被伯克利录取了！没有人能想象我有多么激动，甚至一分钟前的自己也无法想象。我开始呐喊，尖叫，朝着屏幕，朝着窗外，朝着接通电话的母亲那端。我要让看不起我的人，失信于我的人，放弃于我的人看一看，无论如何，我做到了。我不管，我做到了。我想打破每一扇窗户，我想更大声地喊出来，我想让所有的所有都听见。我就是这么挣脱理性。
好久没有这么强烈的表达欲了，又想记录些什么。
自己平常是从不会看b站的，b站总会给我一种过度娱乐化的感觉，自己也只有平常亟需要纯粹的搞笑视频来放松的时候，才会点开b站。
当然，不可否认我也是跟着b站的学习视频才学了java，顺利拿到了AP CSA 5分。但今天无意点开的一个视频，着实改变了我的认知。
看到《小小少年》的封面像极了VEX机器人，我便点了进去。原来是FRC，自己也了解过一些，这是一项比VEX更加烧钱，耗费时间精力但收获更大的国际赛事。
影片开始，人大附中的名号遍不绝于耳。我开始习惯性地批判起来：为何这部纪录片要关注宇宙第一高中？这样的教育资源和机会是绝大多数的同龄人所无法触及的，我不明白这个影片的意义在哪里。
说起来也奇怪，不知不觉我就完全将这种想法抛在了脑后，更多的，是对镜头内容产生的深深的共鸣。影片中的程序员，像极了我的经历。诚然我深知自己不是可以和他比肩的天才少年，但我们有着相同的热爱，相同的遭遇，解决过类似的问题，享受过那份独属于我们的成就感。当然，还有另外一位天才，机械结构搭建的妙手。我脑海里闪过了很多身边的人，向他一样，却又不够像他。就像我不够像第一位天才一样。
The year of OX, the last Spring Festival I could spend time with family members together. In my childhood memory, the New Year was full of happiness, mostly sounds of firecrackers… However, as growing up I find less and less interest and meaningful this traditional festival is. It soon became a period of blank. Nothing much I could do. Yet, this year, is completely different for me.
My mom was the first person reminded me of the importance of this year. She planned a lot of places to go where we never had available time to visit together.
Hey there, long time no see.
I’ve skipped the review of robotics competition in December, 2020 review and more things that have stayed on my pocket notes for months. I apoligized but I really couldn’t allocate some time to do so because of the anxious, intense, formiddable(there’s more) application season.
But I learned a lot.
I have to say I’ve never been so tierd at any moment in my life. I thought it would be a regular semester for me, just with some extra works on application essays and other stuff. However, I definitely underestimated the workload and energy of it.
Though I have applied for Stanford Summer Institute in the beginning of 2020 all by myself, with 8+ application essays, this time I still felt like a completely new challenge for me.
When writting essays, I want to eagerly find some real points that I could match with the school I applied for, which costs time, a lot of time… My conselor told me, “just search on its website, found some courses and research areas, and then everything done.” I don’t think so, however. I believe the more time I invested in truly researched the school, the more possibility I will be accepted. I cannot accept myself submitting essays without staying overnight for several times.
I always recognized myself as a positive and optimistic person, but not this time. My mood was changed dramatically within a day-time, which influenced me from each and every aspects of my life including school works, coding and especially writing applicaiton essays. Self-doubts are common these days.
And to be honest, I encountered some unpleasant things. 3 times of failure in taking TOEFL really distroyed my mind. I nearly gave up. And until now I still don’t have a great score. I just hope all my efforts and pain experienced in writing essays could compensate the negative effects it brings to me.
Seeing my classmates received their dream offers, I am really happy for them. Also I am really upset for myself. Their futures journeys are somehow well-prepared while I am still seeking for opportunities and waiting.
There are still so many things I would like to share on my blog, yet 3 school essays are still needed to be done. /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~
I just hope universities and colleges I applied for could really understand my experience and ambitions through my application.
Good luck to myself and all fellow applicants!
This article was revised on March 5
While it comes, the application seasion, full of tension, sadness and happiness. At this time, just after finsihing submitting all UC applications, I decided to join this competiton held in Foshan, Guangdong, which is a prosperous city around the Guangzhou. It is a short break for me, for I have some time to reflect the early application season including EA and UC and better think how could I improve in the future. Also, I haven’t taken any VEX competition for almost a year due to the COVID. It is the best time for me to catch up with this brand new season and implement my new-learned knowledge in real match.
This month is really a busy month. Writing essays for application, preparing for TOEFL, learning school courses and participating in Yau Science Awards really stressed me a lot. I feel like I have never been busy as much as now. It’s not only about my academic works, since I need to consider many other things that are simple but costs tons of time. All things combined,it’s a challenge for me and I need to and have to admit it.
After a week long prepare with my mentor, reviewing my paper and debugging my neural network model, I came to Beijing for semifinal of Yau Science Award(Computer) yesterday. Though I’ve been to many places without my parents, I was accompanied with teachers or schoolmates. This trip is truly the first trip that I went alone. To be honest, I even was a little nervous at first.
Everything went OK the first day. Arriving by bullet train, I took 3 subway lines to go to my hotel next to Tsinghua University. The hotel is fine but I booked a room without windows for cheaper price. However, it was really a awful experience that I felt unwell staying at the room. (I swear I would never book a room without room again) So I decided to go to the university for checking the route in advance just in case that I might get lost the next day.
To be honest, I don’t have a good impression of Beijing based on previous visits. No exception, it’s the same this time. I don’t know if it’s a prejudice or something else. Anyway, I don’t like this city. It imposes bad feeling to me.
